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  • tarynnight

Why being afraid of your dark(er) aspects keeps you from living a fulfilling life

Updated: Mar 31, 2021

Can you begin to see yourself as you are, with all your favours and flaws, to discover what gifts all the parts of you bring?

There is much treasure to be found in the darker spaces of ourselves.

The spaces we struggle to accept, the spaces we are afraid to acknowledge and the spaces we only show someone when we’re pushed to the edge, when we have no choice to respond but out of a vulnerable, defensive position.

And then when these darker spaces become public, we often run away from what we see, shun ourselves by judging these darker, often uglier spaces of ourselves, or we blame someone else, whether that’s our circumstances, the person who is the object of our upset or our parents, our upbringing, our ancestral trauma or our heartbreaks.

Not to say anything of these things are invalid. In fact, they probably are the root of these darker aspects in the first place.

But, rather to say that avoiding and denying these aspects doesn’t allow us to know ourselves.

To discover ourselves beyond the pain.


I’ve been doing a really beautiful course about releasing the energetic oppressive structures in our bodies caused either by systemic oppression, ancestral suppression or self-denial.

One of the key aspects we’ve addressed so far is allowing yourself the space to make space for the aspects of the self you have not been able to love yet.

What does this even mean? And where and how do I discover these spaces? I’d say there is no need to push yourself to uncover these spaces – they show up themselves – you only need to start allowing yourself to experience them.

And the way to do this is by feeling.


And the thing about feeling is that you cannot do it half-heartedly. (lol) That’s just not going to cut it. Feeling, to really feel, means to be open and ready for your vulnerabilities, to allow yourself your joys, your guilty pleasures, your anger, your resentment, your sorrow.

Cry It out for fuck’s sake – be present with it – no matter how ugly – no matter how much someone else thinks you’re crazy for it – allow it and be present with it!

The world we live in now is so scared of feeling anything that doesn’t feel likeable that we’ve cultivated a society where the best life is encouraged (nothing wrong with that), but the acceptance and love and gratitude for the life you currently have is often forgotten in the pursuit of better.

We’ve created a world so afraid of feeling, so absolutely terrified of what it means to feel, that we’ve blocked ourselves from one of the most beautiful tools gifted to humankind – our hearts.

And funny enough, ladies and gentlemen, this is the key to your true joy, your soul, your peaceful being.

In the course I mentioned, one of the facilitators, energy worker, Ken Jover, said that liberation is achieved not by avoiding our emotions, in fact, the only way to reach liberation is through these emotions.

I love that. It speaks to my soul.

"...liberation is achieved not by avoiding our emotions, in fact, the only way to reach liberation is through these emotions."

And, I agree. Our emotions are our responses to our environment. How else can we learn about ourselves if we aren’t willing to face the very thing that shows us how we perceive the spaces we occupy?

Our emotions show us our heart’s response to our reality. When we resist listening to the very part of ourselves that keeps our blood pumping, our lungs breathing, and our limbs moving – the part that keeps us here in this human experience – how can we ever live a truly fulfilling human experience?

I have an answer: it’s our fear of what we’ll discover. We’re scared we may discover those darker feelings, those darker spaces. But, these spaces in ourselves are only scary because they’re unknown, because they’re in the dark.

Yet, the only way is through.

The only way to discover beyond is to move beyond.

Is to move through the unknown.

Is to move through the dark

To find the treasure buried within.

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